My Funny Valentine
by Dark Lavender
Summary: A series of MSR drabbles guided by the lyrics of My Funny Valentine. A little silly, MSR nevertheless. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_My funny valentine  
Sweet comic valentine_

_You make me smile with my heart_

---

It truly has been a quiet day in the basement office.

Surprisingly, also a little bit suspiciously, there's no aliens to chase, no paperwork to be done, no formulating on how to pull Mulder out of the latest run-in with the bureau policy.

Nothing.

While utilizing the time to its fullest in contemplating the meaning of life, Scully rummaged through the file cabinets in vain for any misplaced file she could return to its rightful place.

After all, Mulder had some problems with his alphabets.

Meanwhile Mulder was standing on his chair equally in vain trying to erase all the pencil marks on the ceiling, evidences of his… less than commendable habit of pencil throwing.

A ray of sunlight that filtered through the dusty basement window fell upon a file. A choral of angels was just beginning to sing as Scully gasped in glee.

"Finally!"

As she took out the file, hands shaking in anticipation as they extracted the Ubersquatyrs case from the X's right next to a folder labeled Xerox.

"Xerox?"

With a raised brow Scully lifted the unexpectedly heavy manila file while trying to retrieve any possible related memories.

Opening it, she found herself staring at an empty folder, and a bag of sunflower seeds beside her feet that apparently fell from the same folder.

Looking at the bag of grey seeds, a low growl rose from Scully's throat and slowly escalated into something unstoppable.

"MULDER!"

Apparently the said man was still erasing the ceiling board when Scully's wrath erupted. After a few comical flailing of the arm and desperate attempts in finding something to grab onto, Mulder finally lost his footing in the already unsteady chair, a result of another one of his less than commendable habits.

He came down rather dramatically, with plenty of grabbing and flailing of the upper extremities.

With a painful sounding thud, Scully rushed to the crash site to inspect the damage done

There Mulder was, laid on the scratchy office carpet in a pathetic heap. His tie too lay askew like a stuck-out tongue under his turned head upon the floor, making the scene all the more comical.

Feeling a cautious smile upon her lips, Scully stood over his wracked figure on the floor and called his name. He's not getting off that easily.

"Mulder."

Nothing, except for a thin line of saliva that's beginning to run from his parted lips which were still in shape of his last scream before he fell victim to the unforgiving gravity.

"Mulder." Again she called, a few decibels louder.

Nothing.

The thin line of saliva is now pooling into a dark stain on the carpet.

Feeling worry rising in her chest, Scully hastily bent down and loomed over Mulder on the floor.

Her hand went to the side of his neck and gratefully felt a steady pulse under the skin.

_So he's not in any real trouble._

Then after a few seconds of probing under his weedwhacked brown hair and finding no protrusions, Scully was truly puzzled by the newest X-file.

As a last resort, her cool, trained fingers went to his closed eyelids.

Just as her trained fingers placed upon them, Scully felt a warm hand on the back of her neck and pulling her down toward the floor.

In the panic to delay her descend, Scully grabbed onto the file cabinet handle on her left and clung to it for her dear life.

Though the sudden inclination of her body forced her lips out of alignment with Mulder's and instead, her right cheek.

Scully was all too shocked by the warm connection on her cheek.

Mulder was all too shocked by the fact that his master plan had gone so horribly wrong.

The two stayed in the entangled pile on the floor, both too afraid to acknowledge the last 20 seconds.

Suddenly the phone rang for the first time that day.

Scully scrambled for the phone, seeing as Mulder was in no position to move under her.

"Yes sir, I'll send him right down."

Hanging up the phone, she let out a shaky breath.

Mulder got the hint, one of the very few things that he had learned to be afraid of during their years of working together.

"Sorry." Both muttered awkwardly as they untangled from each other on the floor and smoothed down their clothing.

Mulder ran out of the room thinking for the first time in his life he's happy to see Skinner.

Scully stood in the middle of the basement office for a good minute before smartly turning away from the surveillance camera above Mulder's lava lamp and let a full-fledged smile spread her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

_Your looks are laughable_

_Unphotographable_

_Yet you're my favourite work of art_

"Hey Scu-" Mulder looked up from the pile of crop circle diagrams on his desk, attempting to greet the whirlwind of green that swept through the door.

"Scully?" He tried again, but she ignored him completely and quickly ripped open her bag, with a hunger in her eyes, as soon as her bottom touched the chair.

Before Mulder had the chance to sigh at her dedication to uncovering the truth of the Oompa Loompa appearance in Providence, Scully slapped down a heavy volume onto her desk and began devouring page after page in rapid secession.

Mulder got up from his desk and snuck up behind Scully's chair, and saw the glossy pages of the "book".

Whether it could be considered a book was, debatable, as it was at best a collection of center folds of beefcake magazines. Mulder, all other revulsions aside, was rather insulted.

_So the Spooky isn't quite enough for her?_

'Having fun?" Mulder whispered suggestively beside Scully's ear. Despite the rewarding response, as she shut the book with a shriek, the pleasure came with a heavy price. As she whipped her head around, the Mt. Everest on Mulder's face inevitably stood in the way.

As Mulder stumbled backwards, holding his nose, almost blinded by the pain. Sitting on the floor, Mulder was vaguely aware of the rather undignified position he's in amidst all the pain.

Scully at this moment watched with an unfair amount of amusement, at Mulder's weakened state, a rarity.

What she wouldn't give to have a camera here. With that thought, Scully fumbled in her drawers in a vain hope that she might find something there to capture this precious moment.

As Mulder recovered slightly, he spared an open teary eye that found Scully in her desperate attempt.

"You know, many have tried, but none ever succeeded in capturing the Spooky, not even in a picture." Mulder said, a little muffled behind his crush nose, but not without a hint of pride.

"Then what's that on your badge? And no, I'm not referring the nude shot you took yourself, the one that you put in on April Fools Day." Scully made the point without even looking up from her still on going search for a camera.

"Well, I _let_ them take that didn't I?" Mulder shot back rather smugly, masking the obvious stupidity of the comment.

Scully finally looked up from her fruitless search and blew a stray strand of hair from her face. Rolling her eyes with utter disgust of the man's ego, she reluctantly turned back to her desk.

Just as Scully was closing the book up, a familiar figure caught her eyes. It took a few minutes to register in her brain, which was bombarded by a torrent of smug delight, disgust and utter shock.

"Hey Mulder, come here a sec?" Scully called, her voice completely nonchalant.

"What is it?" Mulder got up from the floor and looked over her shoulder on to the glossy pages of her book. Suddenly all blood ran from his face and a gagging noise came from deep within him.

Scully enjoyed every second of this, looking with equal interest at the book page.

"So _that_'s where you got your inspiration for your April Fools Day photo isn't it?"

After a frantic attempt to explain the photo, Mulder finally decided it was completely in vain, to explain why he in all of his naked glory was there for all desperate and lonely women to devour, he slammed his mouth shut and settled back down at his desk.

"So Spooky finally has nothing to say, this _is_ a day to remember after all." Scully smiled, secretly enjoying a moment of peace with Foxy.


End file.
